-crushes-

why do i always fall for a guy that i know i can't have?
i know it's just wishful thinking..
but u can't stop a girl from dreaming..
that's what girls do..
they wish for something that's hard to get..

the guys i always have crushes on are so way out of my league..
they're like so perfect..
whereas i'm so not..
and i hate that..
i hate feeling that i'm not as good as they think i am..

guys nowadays are into girls that are good looking (meaning : beautiful), smart, have a sense of humor, beautiful,etc..
i know i said beautiful twice..
that's what guys want..
am i right?
i know i am..

anyone who agrees/disagrees with me, please feel free to comment back..
i don't mind..
i'd really like to hear your opinions..

-gossiping-

is gossiping good or bad?
for me, if we're not talking about other people's flaws, then it's ok..
i guess..
what do u guys think??

it's normal for us to gossip about friends..
what about if we gossip about other people like lecturers?
i know it's totally different when gossiping about them..
we talk about their personal life, especially their "love life"..
some of u may know what i'm talking about..

currently, i'm interested in knowing more about this 1 particular lecturer..
he's teaching me this semester.. (God,i hope he's not reading this!)
yes, it's a male lecturer..
i think u can guess who it is i'm talking about by now..
i don't know why i'm so captivated by him..
i really admire him..
hmm...

well, i don't know what to say anymore..
i'm speechless..
my mind just went blank..
i'll write more when i have something in my brain..
for now, i need a nap..
nite2 (^_^)

-pre-reg + benl mass gathering-

it's been such a tiring day..
i started the day by getting ready for class..
first class is BM..
luckily it's at the library..
that means i don't have to walk the extra mile to aikol..
it's so freakin' far..

i haven't slept the whole nite..
actually, i haven't been sleeping well for the past few days..
been having really creepy dreams lately..
don't wanna talk about it..

next class was novel..
ah,Mr. Mazlan..
can't really get enough of him..
had a crush on him since i first laid eyes on him..
he's so adorable..
wish he was mine..
haha, just kidding..
i'm such a stalker..
hehe (^_^)

last class was ethics..
nothing much going on..
just listening to other groups' presentation..
the topics were prostitution & care for the elders..
i like the first topic more..
it's interesting..
god, what am i thinking?
i'm so out of it..

then, it was lunch time..
had lunch at maryam cafe..
after that,prayed n took a nap..
woke up at around 3.45pm..
went to main audi..
had to be ready for pre-reg..

urgh, i hate pre-reg..
it's a hastle n is giving me a major migrane..
with a few difficulties here n there, i finally got the subjects that i wanted..
lucky me!
it took me about 20 minutes to settle the pre-reg..

by the time i was finished, benl mass gathering has started..
luckily i was at the right place..
packed my things n rushed into the main audi..
it was a "full house"..
some late-comers had to sit on the floor..
i was seated at the back with kem..
we chated while listening..
the "gathering" lasted only less than an hour..
it was short but brief..

then, the imaginable happened..
my stomach growled..
time to feed it..
went to "pasar malam" with a couple of friends..
bought some junk food..
finally arrived back to my room at 7.30pm..

so here i am now, writing on my blog..
haven't prayed yet..
also i haven't even bathe..
so i'm stopping now..
i'll post later about zikrul maut..
i was a part of it..
haven't had the time to talk about it yet..
plus, no pictures..
maybe in the near future..
hehe..
ok, tata =)

-love-

"Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get, it's what you are expected to give -- which is everything..."

-Anonymous-

"If you love somebody, let them go... If they return, they were always yours... If they don't, they never were..."

-Anonymous-

"Love can sometimes be magic... But magic can sometimes...just be an illusion..."

-Javan-

"The more familiar two people become, the more the language they speak together departs from that of the ordinary, dictionary-defined discourse... Familiarity creates a new language, an in-house language of intimacy that carries reference to the story the two lovers are weaving together and that cannot be readily understood by others..."
-Alain de Botton-

-loneliness-

"Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible..."

-Carl Gustav Jung-

"The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself..."
-Mark Twain-

"The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet, alone with the heavens, nature and God... Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be and that God wishes to see people happy, amidst the simple beauty of nature..."
-Anne Frank-

"To be alone is to be different, to be different is to be alone..."
-Suzzane Gordon-

-NTW pictures-

here are some pictures from NTW..
forgot to post them earlier, been quite busy..

-it takes two to tango-

-alahai... soto-

-posters-

-organiser: theatre club-

-signboard to mak jah's soto's stall-

-me, ponie & shazzy-

-ponie, diyana & me-


-piea, ponie, me & pdode-

- post-ntw -

last nite was great..
had fun doing my job while watching the play..
in the end, i was exhausted..
slept my way through the whole nite like a baby..
luckily my class was at 10am..

there were 2 plays: "It Takes 2 to Tango" n "Alahai... Soto"..

the 1st one was in english..
it was ok..
but it should've been better..
as i was standing at the back, i can't quite catch what the actors were saying..
either they were mumbling or talking too fast..
i don't really get the moral of the story either..

what were they trying to convey actually?
1) find a partner that's suitable for u?
2) don't be a "queen control"?
3) stand up for yourself?
4) learn how to dance?

anyway, hope they'll improve their performances tomorrow nite..

the 2nd one was hilarious!
even though it's in Malay..
but the not-so-interesting part of it is that it was too long..
people were getting bored during the middle part of the play..
at least they made it up in the end which was the "fighting scene"..
it was so funny, i couldn't stop laughing..

so, what are u waiting for?
come and watch it for yourself tomorrow nite..
it'll be much better than before..

-NTW-

tonite's the nite..
nusantara theatrical week is starting at 8pm at main audi..
can't wait to see what happens..

have to be there early..
bcoz i'm one of the committee.. (duh!)
but i'm taking my sweet time getting ready..
don't know why..
hate to rush things..
now i'm 15 minutes late..

better get going..
don't want shazzy breathing down my neck..
hate to see when he gets mad at something..
not a pretty picture..
hehe..
ok then,bye2 =)

-to act or not to act-

*sigh*

at last, i acted in front of a live audience this afternoon..
made a few mistakes here & there..
but we were all impressed with the result..
we were pretty good for 1st time actors..
well, not all of us..
some were experienced..
but, what the hell, WE ROCKED!
now that's what i call teamwork..

the show started at 2.30pm..
finished around 4pm..
it was so god-damned, freaking hot just now..
i felt like a boiled egg on a really broiling pan..
i think my skin has just changed to a different tone colour..
to summarize, it was REALLY HOT..

some complained we weren't good enough..
hey, what do u expect from actors with NO EXPERIENCE in acting?
some said it lacked special effects..
well, if u were in our shoes, u'd know why..

we were given ONLY 4 days to practice & get everything in order..
there were only a few people who voluntereed..
we had to come up with our OWN lines & actions..
now that is tough, for me..
don't know about u guys..

but do i give a damn what others think?
nope, not in a million years..
we made it..
had lots of fun while doing it..
it's done & we're proud of ourselves..
hats off to us..
YAY!

-happy valentine's day-

ah, love is in the air today..
being it's valentine's day..

for those who are celebrating (meaning "couples"), enjoy your day while it last..
for those who aren't celebrating (meaning "singles"), like me, good for u..

not the tiniest bit jealous to those who have "loved ones"..
i like being single..
i'm free as a bird..
i can do ANYTHING i want to without worrying what others think..
perks of being without a partner..
hehe..

what i don't understand is:
1) why do u need to show your "loved ones" u love them dearly on this
particular day only?
i thought u show someone u love them every single day..

2) do the guys present gifts (eg. flowers, chocolates, teddy bears, etc..) on
special occasions only?
like birthdays, anniversaries, valentine's day, etc..

3) should a girl get something for the guys too?
and what should a girl get for a guy?

well, there are more questions but my mind just went blank..
writer's block, i guess..
hehe..

i'm not really puzzled by these questions..
just curious..
never celebrated it..
not my kind of thing to go all lovey-dovey..
it cramps my style..
haha..

anyway, enough talking about valentine's day..
it's gonna end anyway in about an hour from now (it's 11pm now)..
goodbye fantasy, hello reality..

-busy-

finally!
i'm online after almost 2 weeks of being offline..
my broadband had some problemo..
bla bla bla..
then my parents bought me a new one!
thanx mom & dad, love ya!

anyway,it's been a very hectic week for me lately..
got involved with theater club's COCU Week & Nusantara Theater Week (NTW)..

for COCU Week, i'm a committee & a part-time actor..
haha.. me, acting?
funny rite?
well, that's what i'll be doing tomorrow afternoon (14/2/09) at 2.30pm at Business Centre..
wah, gile promote!
hehe..

and for NTW, i'm juz a committee under Publications & Promotions (aka Pub & Pro)..
hehe, baru glamor skit..
NTW's on da 16/2/09 & 18/2/09, Main Auditorium at 8pm..
so, what are U waiting for?
bring your frenz along with u..
i guarantee u, u won't regret watching it..
so much fun!
now i'm really promoting..
hey, that's what Pub & Pro is all about
hehe..

hmm,time juz flies by when you're busy..
u won't have time for others..
i have 5 pending assignments..
still haven't done a darn thing..
i'm kinda a "last minute" person..
always doing things at da last moment..
ish3, such a bad habit..
I KNOW!
but what to do, it's in my flesh & blood..
hehe..

hmm, nothing interesting's going on in my life rite now..
not even my love life..
haha, very funny!
yeah rite, like i have a love life..
PLEASE!!
i'd rather be single at the moment..
don't wanna rush into things..
but if anybody comes along, i'll think about it..
hmm, u might be wondering: "What about da guy u talked about last time?"
nah, he's juz a crush..
u know, like david archuleta's song "crush"..

i'm so outta my mind rite now..
not having enough rest would do that to u..
guess i better stop rambling now..
need my beauty sleep..
can't act with red, puffy eyes..
not good for da image..
haha..

well,tata..
gud nite =)

-him-

he called today..
actually he called an hour ago..
after 2 days of not hearing from him..
suddenly, out of da blues..
he CALLED me..
and for what?
nothing!

i was eating dinner with my frenz at da time..
juz finished sociolinguistics' midterm..
felt so hungry, decided to eat at HSCF..
he called, telling me about something..
i can't understand a word he's saying..
hello! HSCF=a very loud place..
plus, i have trouble with my hearing..
don't know why, guess i'm getting old..
haha, very funny!

anyway, before he ended da conversation, he told me something that was out of context.. (wah, so linguistic!)
and that kept me thinking until now..
what was da purpose of him calling me juz now?
why did he say what he said?
so very da confuse rite now..
i'll juz let it slide for now..
i'll think bout it tomorrow.. (hehe!)

guess what?
tomorrow i have ONLY 1 class!
and it starts at 3PM..
how glorious is that?
but i'll miss novel class.. ='(
i'm gonna miss Mr.Mazlan & his quirky attitude..
not gonna see him next monday too..
holiday-thaipusam..
i'm missing him already..
waaa ='(

p/s: i'm soo emotionally unstable rite now..
don't know why..
hormones maybe..

-sociolinguistics' midterm exam-

juz finished my sociolinguistics' midterm exam..
it was quite difficult actually..
although i've studied for it for 2 days in a row..
i hate memorizing terminologies..
i'm really not good at it..
that's why i plan to major in literature..
anyway,hope to get good results for this midterm..
i really need to get my grades up..
i'm "dying" over here..
really need to focus on my studies..
no more fooling around..
why does life have to be so complicated?
can't handle da stress anymore..
ugh!

-to be OR not to be-

ok, i've finally figured out my problemo..
and yes, it's a guy.. (duh!)
only a number of people know about this but mostly don't even have a clue..
i'm good at keeping secrets.. (hehe!)
now it's all out in da open..
no more hiding in da closet..
at last, free as a bird..
(what da hell am i rambling about?)

i've been keeping an eye on him for a few months now..
we know each other..
he's so cute, so funny & so super-duper nice!
and da most i like about him is he can SING!
God, he's so adorable when he sings..
even sometimes he's out of tune but WHO CARES!
he's such a good friend..

unfortunately, that's all we could ever be..
juz friends, nothing more..
but i like where we are now..
juz happy & caring about each other..
i'd rather know him than not knowing him at all..
but i'm still hoping for more..
if God permits..

p/s: my tale sounds like it was taken from a novel, doesn't it?
well,it's da whole truth & nothing but da truth..
couldn't fake it any other way..
(^_^)

-something-

there's something that's been bothering me for da last few months..
actually it started last semester..
starting from august, so total = 5-6 months.. (hey,i'm good at math!)
it's still on my mind until now..
can't get rid of it that easily..

wanna know what's it about?
nah, not gonna tell u yet.. (oh, come on!)
actually, i'm not sure what it is about..
haha!
but i'm sure it has something to do with a person.. (hmm,interesting!)
a guy or a girl?
i'm leaning a lil bit to da right.. (which one's right?)
that you'll have to figure it out for urself.. (fine...)
maybe i'll talk about it tomorrow..
if i have da time..

p/s: i know, i'm kinda psycho right now.. =D

-2nd & last day of induction course-

whew,what a day!
had so much fun!
got to make new frenz & know da other societies better..
it was a blast..
though we're different but we're still da same..
no matter if you're from ELITS, POSSA, SOCASA, PSYCSTA, COSA or HISFORIUM..
hehe (^_^)

here are some pics from today's course:

-ELITS' group photo-

-all 6 societies combined-

-my current favourite phone-

it's called the LG KS360..

my dream phone when i 1st saw it..

and now i owned one!

how cool is that?

mine's black in colour..

so many functions..

juz like a pda but not exactly..

user friendly..

i LOVE it!

thanx MOM & DAD!

(^_^)

-induction course-

what a tiring day..
had induction course for hs student leaders..
hmm, me, a leader?
maybe, maybe not..
who cares..

started at 2.30 pm..
got up at 11 am..
had to go somewhere before da course..
had brunch with ponie around 1.45 pm..
anyway, went to hs seminar room to register myself..
akmal, melissa, freddy & A.J. were there too..
we were da 2nd least people in a group..
but we stood out more..

listen to a couple of "lectures"..
then had ice breaking..
can't believe i juz acted in front of an audience!
as a wife who juz got dumped by her husband!
how convenient..
A.J. danced in front of everyone..
so funny!
stopped for a break at 6.30 pm..
continued at 8.00 pm..
finished at 11 pm..
imagined how exhausted i am rite now..

having a migrane rite now..
actually started from yesterday evening..
hate it when i have migranes..
can't focus on my work..
tonite's migrane wasn't my fault..
i blame it on somebody else..
won't tell u who caused it..

tomorrow's induction course starts at 8.15 AM..
have a presentation bout war..
how can war be connected to language & literature?
hmm,need to think bout that..

well,gotta go now..
can't keep my eyes open anymore..
nite2 =)